Hear ye! Hear ye! There is a new paradigm quietly emerging for teaching and practicing the ancient expedient of forgiveness, a sure way to inner peace, happiness and self-empowerment no matter how taxing the outer situation. This occurred to me one day after watching a Life Class led by Oprah and Dr. Phil on the OWN Channel, with emphasis on recognizing the toxic people in our life based on Dr. Phil’s book titled, Life Code: The New Rules For Winning in the Real World. The above subtitle quote is from President John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
According to Dr. Phil, the world is rapidly changing, which now urgently requires a new reality. Or, a new way of seeing in order to prevail in our evolving society. He asks, have you ever had an uneasy feeling about someone but gave them the benefit of the doubt? Of course, many in the audience raised their hands (me too). He then illustrates that it is this antiquated, social response that is now an open invitation for disaster in today’s fast-paced world! I thought Wow! And perked up immediately. As I was emotionally exhausted owing to a certain toxic individual in my life. By then, after much soul searching and fact finding, I had discerned that it was not me but the other person that was way out of balance. Thus, I was in dire need of the right support. And this class fit the bill! Thanks Oprah and Dr. Phil.
Richard Parker
Sadly, we can’t always boot toxic people out of our lives, at least not immediately. So I have learned to quietly ask: What is the lesson I need to learn here Dear God and please let me hurry up and learn it? Of course, it usually does not happen that quickly, yet my learning process has accelerated which is progress nonetheless. Having been on the Spiritual Path several decades now, I’ve also learned to brace myself for my own fault (or faults) that will surly emerge. And so it has, though in a most unlikely form.
A while ago, I entered into a business agreement with Richard Parker (a pseudonym) for the upkeep of my car. Borrowed from the acclaimed film titled “Life of Pi,” Richard Parker is also a metaphor but more about that later. Having known Richard Parker for a while and thus having chatted with him on more than one occasion over the years, I thought him to be a rather nice person, one you could trust. Boy was I mistaken. Hence, you never know a person until money enters the picture. And believe me this was strictly business, thus no room for confusion.
Initially, we hit it off well. Knowing that I was a devout student-teacher of A Course in Miracles, he started asking me about ACIM and even suggested I started a class with some of his friends, which, as a spiritual teacher, I heard the call for help and took it very seriously. The first class went well; he brought his wife, a close friend and two others also came. Afterwards, only Richard continued coming and we met for a while, but he eventually dropped off. I had the feeling that he was getting too close to reality and did not want to face it. Though he had shared a very traumatic experience in his early life, I sensed that he was in denial of his feelings about it. And since he was not that religiously inclined (probably angry at God) and I am not a licensed therapist, I did not press the matter.
Troubles with Richard Parker
Eventually, I discover that Richard Parker was prone to misrepresenting the facts, likely in an effort to cut costs and pad his wallet. One day I had to yell at Richard like a crazy lady to get him to redo something immediately. Obviously shaken, this seemed to throw off his usual game of lies and he began to babble incoherently. Afterwards, I became physically ill. Initially, it appeared to be the flu that lasted several days or a week. Who knows? Then a severe case of food poising hit me (perhaps an overindulgence of potato chips was the culprit…never again, LOL). Having opened my heart to help him spiritually, somehow I felt I was made vulnerable to illness by these negative interactions with Richard, as I rarely become ill.
The food poising symptoms were the most traumatic. Feeling really, really bad, I prayed deeply. This truly helped and I soon realized that my body was naturally purging the toxins. Being a lover of Nature, I got that and felt stronger. Then I remember being a young girl sitting on my porch while intently watching a cat eat grass and later regurgitating. Ever curious, I run and ask my mom, who grew up on a farm, and she explained that the animal was sick and the grass was its medicine.
Later, I would learn that my grandfather relied on herbs and other natural remedies for their medicines. With this in mind, I naturally embraced holistic healing as I advanced on the Spiritual path. Yet, this belief is not for everyone; thus, I am not advocating natural healing here, just sharing my experiences with intimate friends. Of course, in a pinch, know that God and His angles are still in the miracle business.
The next day, after intermittently throwing up pails of bile and releasing diarrhea all night, I actually felt lighter (wonder why) and weighed myself. I had lost over seven pounds, in one day no less! Though I felt better, I was still sick with the diarrhea. So I had to miss Mother’s Day. Finally, after inwardly being urged to eat something starchy, I checked out the internet for the right diet and boiled some pasta which brought things back to normal about 24 hours later. Hallelujah!
What Happened to Happy?
Knowing this was not yet over between Richard Parker and me, I fall into depression though in denial for a few days. Eventually it hits me that my inner happiness is not there. I thought, wait, as I am usually happy and notice it at least once during the day. And then thought to myself: Hey, what happened to happy? In the school of metaphysics we call that self-inquiry. So, I started regrouping immediately while realizing that I did not come all this way to let a Richard Parker rob me of my Inner Joy. No way, never again!
In an effort to return to happy, I turn on Oprah’s Life Class that I had recorded and the healing begins. Afterwards, I download Dr. Phil’s book, Life Code. I was so excited about this book I called my sister and passed it on. Naturally, the above JFK quote, which is in Dr. Phil’s book, caught my eye and I now have a new philosophy, which is very powerful in my opinion.
The Perfect Equation, Thanks Be to JFK
“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names,” spoken like a true Harvard Law School graduate. I see President Kennedy’s splendid advice as the perfect equation because, though equals, one side cannot effectively work without the other. Yet, together, both sides form the perfect whole. And it is this, the Modern World must learn, which is probably why Dr. Phil chose to highlight JFK’s quote in his book. Thus, the perfect equation has now become the perfect remedy for coping with the “bad people” who might show up in our lives, generally seeking to exploit and steal from us rather than serve others.
Scripture teaches us to forgive our enemies, which works as we are also releasing ourselves, being one in The Spirit. Yet, for many of us, men in particular, something always seems missing from this instruction. Now we know why: As, forgiveness, being a quality of the heart, flows from the Feminine aspect of God, while memory, being a quality of the mind, is of the Masculine aspect of God. Yet, for the best possible results in all things, the Feminine and Masculine aspects of God (mind and heart) must work together. And so it is!
Though forgiveness is the ultimate expedient for destroying our enemies, not forgetting their names has to be the practical means by which we remember their true nature. Thus, a necessary caution against possible harm, as such persons likely will not change anytime soon. Yet, we need not live in fear, ever. With a made up mind and heart, we are more dangerous than danger.
Richard Parker, a Metaphor
My take on Richard Parker in “Life of Pi” and our story is simple. Besides being a metaphor of discernment between friend and foe, Richard Parker ultimately represents the primal beast we once were. Thus, we all have a little bit of Richard Parker still within us, some more destructive than others. Yet, while Richard Parker often appears to be outside of us, he really is within us; thus, a product of our own mind created by our ego.
Another term for Richard Parker is, of course, the ego. As it is our ego that wrongly judges, which ultimately engenders fear, anger, and dark feelings of revenge. As we mature spiritually, Richard Parker begins to diminish and ultimately fades away. But not without a conscious effort to rid our self of our own negative thoughts and feelings.
This process is made easier when we realize that the savage within us not only makes us sick, but ultimately robs us of our personal power. Leaving us weak and trembling before an imaginary enemy. Thus the old adage, “Thoughts are things.” Then do we become wise enough to let go of our destructive thoughts and choose peace instead, which automatically empowers us.
Hence, “I can see peace instead of this,” (ACIM, Lesson 34). And so it is! And always has been. And always will be. Amen!
Updated June 2, 2013
© Delores L. Adams and The Aunt Jemimah Post 2012-2013. All rights reserved.
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